Tap on my Window, Knock on my Door
by Inks Inc
Summary: There's a first time for everything and navigating new waters can be tricky. It always pays to have a friend to help you through. *McNozzo Bromance* WARNING: References to Spanking. One-Shot.


Although his eyes were now bone dry, the sensitive skin rankled in irritation as he swept the rough cotton of his shirt cuff against them. Feeling incredibly self conscious and yet, acting as if on auto pilot, he raised a fist and knocked at the familiar apartment door. There was silence for a moment before the sounds of someone slouching to answer the late night rapping wafted through the thin wood. Bracing himself, Tim squared his shoulders and chose to rely on whatever his instinct had him doing at Tony's apartment in the middle of the night. When the senior field agent eventually opened the door, clearly awakened from a slumber, his instinct failed him. Standing motionless and speechless on the doorstep, he merely stared at the quizzical Tony in abashed horror. Quirking a brow, the elder of the two opened the door wider in invitation. When McGee merely continued to stare in mute horror, he cleared his throat.

"Evening, Probilicious. Now it's not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but it's kinda late. What's up?"

Blanching, Tim shook his head from side to side. This was a mistake. This had been a huge error in judgement. What in the hell had he been _thinking?_ Was he really going to tell _Tony?_ As in, Tony _DiNozzo._ The whole damned Navy Yard would know by sunrise, there would be pamphlets and posters printed by noon and a small time television slot by nightfall. Shaking his head even more vigorously, he backed up so fast that he misjudged his steps and tripped backward over his own feet. More used to McGee's lack of coordination that he would have perhaps liked, Tony didn't break a sweat as he reached out to grab and steady the kid just in time. Raising another brow, he released the pale genius with a small shake. "McGee. What the hell is the matter with you? Would you come in for a start? You're letting the cold in." Tim stared and stared in horror for another moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity, a complex vacuum of emotions tumbling within him. Just when he seemed prepared to attempt another grand escape, words burst from him like a splintered water mains.

"Gibbs spanked me!"

Tony's brows shot up like a red hot oil stock in December. It was his turn to stare. Under his astonished gaze, Tim went from ashen pale, to moderately pale, to slightly pink before finally arriving at a flaming crimson. Upon reflection, Tony would recall he resembled a rather magnificent, if traumatised, peacock in full plumage. "Go ahead," the younger agent muttered, his face burning. "Go ahead and make fun of me, plaster the news all around the Yard. I don't know why I came here; I can't believe I just told you, _you_ of all people." He rubbed his reddened face in chagrin. "I'm leaving, alright? I'm sorry to have interrupted your night. I'm sure you'll want to be well rested before work in the morning, to have the best version of this horrifying story ready for Kate." He backed up again, his eyes an odd contrast to his scarlet face. "I won't keep you from it." Tony blinked, stared, and then recovered with the speed of a rather athletic gazelle.

"So, Gibbs spanked you. Your cherry's gone. Welcome to the club, members only. Very exclusive."

He opened the door wider once more and allowed a very rare, very gentle smile to cross his face. "So why don't you come in? You're a fully paid patron now McGoo, might as well enter the clubhouse." He reached out a hand when Tim didn't move an inch, frozen to the spot in shock. Gently steering the kid into his apartment by the shoulder, Tony directed him to the sofa where he sat with a yelp. Smiling a knowing smile, he quickly retrieved two ice cold beers from the fridge and plopped down beside his probie. Accepting the beer with a quizzical thanks, Tim waited for the bomb to drop. The teasing, the teasing he was sure would subsist until his dying breath. It had to start somewhere and now seemed as good a place and time as any. Tony, for his part, took a long draught of his beer and thought deeply before speaking.

"What'd he spank you for?"

Tim reddened again, but didn't detect the needling he was expecting. If anything, Tony sounded genuinely curious and sympathetic. He opened his mouth to tell him that he wasn't buying the act, that he wasn't giving him any ammo with which to make his life hell. But that's not what came out. Again, his instinct was winning over his intellect. "For talking back to him and hacking the CIA when he told me not to," he murmured, shame colouring his words. Nodding silently, Tony picked at his bottle label for a moment before answering. "First time, I take it?" Glancing sharply to the side, Tim bobbed his head up and down in the affirmative. Tony's voice…it was so conversational, they could have been talking about the weather. "I remember my first time," the elder agent said quietly, "It was about a year or so before you arrived on the team. I left my post because I thought I was too "good" for door duty. Perp nearly got away, but Gibbs got him by the skin of his teeth." He shook his head and threw down some more beer. "Jesus, did he let me have it."

Tim's eyes grew wide.

"What…he, Gibbs I mean, he uhh…he sp…spanks you too?"

Tony snorted as he turned to look at the wide eyed MIT grad. "McGee," he said patiently, but with a trace of bemusement. "What say you to the possibility that he would tan _your_ ass and not _mine?_ You're like his golden boy, the perfect one. I see your one spanking and raise you about one hundred." He cocked his head to the side with a rueful grin. "OK, maybe a hundred is a bit of an exaggeration but it's not _that_ far off. Trust me; you didn't drive him to some kind of mental break. Gibbs is an old fashioned kind of guy. Makes sense he'd use old fashioned kind of methods. Nothing out of the ordinary in the crazy world of NCIS' top MCRT, right?" He smiled kindly at the shocked expression on the kid's face. "Tim, you know Gibbs sort of see's us as more of…a family, I guess, than a team?"

Tim nodded. That much was obvious.

"Well then it's a logical follow on that he wouldn't use standard team discipline with us," Tony went on, calmly. "Surely he explained the reasons for tanning your butt before he did it?" Reddening again, the younger man nodded glumly. "Yeah, he gave me an option," he said, struggling to understand how bizarrely natural this conversation was, "Official sanctions on my record or…" he trailed off, suddenly awkward. Tony put on his best Gibbs impression and stiffened in the chair. "Official sanctions on your record or unofficial sanctions on your ass, McGee. Choose one." Spluttering over a mouthful of beer in amusement that he couldn't believe he felt, Tim nodded. "Yeah. Something like that. Of course, once I got over the shock of it, the prospect of escaping with my record clean was a very appealing one. At least, it was, until…."

"Until you couldn't quite get your head around how much a _hand_ can hurt?"

Nodding slowly, Tim gave a non committal grunt. "I can't believe how…extraordinarily ordinary this conversation is," he admitted, "I don't know why I ended up here, but I guess I expected you to be shocked, or something, I don't know. But it's just like, normal, even though if you'd said any of this to me last night I would have laughed in your face." He shook his head. "Man, it's been a crazy night." Nodding in understanding, Tony suddenly jumped off from the sofa and swept to the kitchen. Tim watched silently as he rummaged around a drawer, before he straightened up with a small tub in his hands. Tossing it over, he watched as Tim caught it nimbly. "Post punishment cream," he explained easily. "I once told the pretty girl in the local pharmacy that I had _somehow_ managed to get carpet burn on my butt as I _heroically_ saved a child in distress and she recommended that cream to me. It really works. The bathroom's free, work away."

Tim stared, his mouth agape.

Sighing, Tony strode over to the kid he would rather die than admit he had strong, almost brotherly feelings for. Pulling him up from the sofa with gentle hands, he ruffled his hair. "Listen McGee. Stop over thinking all this. Trust me; I know everything that is going through your head. First of all, you're wondering how you're going to work with Gibbs, how you're going to face him tomorrow. Easy, you're going to work with him just like you always have. He will never mention your spanking, I promise you. He'll have forgotten about it now, he doesn't hold grudges. He won't hesitate to do it again mind you, but he definitely won't make you feel awkward about it. Secondly, you're wondering how the hell you reconcile the fact that you're a grown man who just got his ass spanked by his functional mute of a boss. Easy answer, stop trying to reconcile it. We have the weirdest, most screwed up dysfunctional team in the world. But there's no other team like it, we're a family. And sometimes, family messes up and there are consequences. You've paid your dues, so don't dwell on it. And last of all, you're wondering why I'm not flat on my back from laughing at you."

He reached out and uncharacteristically squeezed Tim's shoulder.

"Another easy answer." He indicated the tub in the kid's hand and pointed towards the bathroom door. "I've been there. I've been there so many times it hurts, _literally._ Besides, if Gibbs found out that I _did_ laugh at you, I'd be the one needing that butt cream. So, quit stressing. Go and plaster your behind in that cream and get your sorry ass back out here so I can order some pizza. I was going to head to bed early, but seeing as you're here, I'm going to take the opportunity to introduce you to some _real_ television." He threw his hand towards the bathroom door once more and winked as his cell buzzed in his pocket. "Go. And don't be miserable with the cream, you're going to need a lot of it to dull the pain of the old man's southpaw. Go on now, get."

Smiling a discreet smile as Tim looked at him with gratitude shining in his eyes, before scampering off to bathroom; Tony collapsed on the sofa and fished his cell out of his pocket. He wasn't surprised to see who the message was from, or what the message contained. Rolling his eyes and slumping back on the cushions, he shook his head at the night's unexpected, even if somewhat inevitable, happenings. He glanced at the message again and threw his eyes back up to heaven. Didn't Gibbs give him _any_ credit? More importantly, how did he know _everything?_ It was unfair is what it was. No-one ought to be that much of an insufferable know-it-all.

 _Tony…._

 _You better not have made even the slightest bit of fun of McGee tonight. I'll skin you alive if you did. You know how hard your first time was. Make sure you let him rack at yours and give him some of that butt cream you think I don't know you have. Any problems and you call me immediately. If not, I'll see you both in the morning. Don't eat too much pizza, early morning run tomorrow. For both of you._

 _Gibbs._

Just to be difficult, Tony ordered extra double stuffed crusts and an extra helping of garlic bread.

It was worth it.

…

A/N: Random One-Shot

…


End file.
